The douche of champions.

I'm reading Tales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski and I just love him.  Very much.  "there was a girl in a blue dress whose ass looked like the bottom of heaven." 

His titles set such a tone.  The title of one of his books made me cry when I first read it: "It Catches My Heart in its Hands." That is beauty in words.

I'm not a fan of change, especially when I have little or nil control over the changes.  Sometimes trying to be positive and flexible can be exhausting and just tedious, especially when it's not your natural reaction.  Life is mostly good.

Stop the changes, Blanche, you slut!

 You get what you get and you don't get upset.

But, sometimes, despite practicing gratitude (fuck off) and looking on the bright side (go suck a dick), it can feel like you're just a little chicken looking up at the sky and the universe is just douching all over you.  And you're too stupid of a little chicken to know to keep your head down for a while.  Holy shit!  The Easter ads with the Cadbury bunny who sounds like a chicken are on and I didn't get to hear him because I was at the gym!  
 

Greg Louganis is by far one of the hottest men ever to dive the planet. 

My adorable dog had an injury to his back knee that we think is pizza-related.  He's a high-energy, rambunctious, balls-to-the-wall guy, but he needs to rest for a few weeks and then we can see if he needs surgery,.  If you're reading this and you pray, and I haven't yet offended the shit out of you, please put in a good word for my dog.  He's 12 and he's so spry.  He's the best friend I've ever had and I love him more than I've ever loved any human being.  Sorry, bitches, this be true.

He's on a $200 human, king-sized featherbed with his favorite Dingo bone and a toy rabbit it took me 1/2 an hour to pick out.  The rat looked way too real.  I believe the photo of the rat is in a past blog.  Why don't you be my #1 fan like Annie Wilkes and look for that rat photo and then nurse me back to health but then hobble me when I realize you're insane?

 I wish the best for everyone.  How hard it is to wish the best for yourself.  Maybe the trick in life is to just curl up sometimes and find some place warm.

 Wait, I don't wish the best for racists and assholes in general.  While I have to say, I don't have it in me to wish ill to any living thing,

This was when he was high on pain medication post x-rays.  He fell asleep with his head in my hand.  It Catches My Heart in its Hands. 

I'll take the good wishes from racists, &C. (this is how Sigmund Freud writes etc. in his book I'm reading and he's really judgmental and snippy looking on the cover, no one you'd want to take on therapy with for sure) and give it double to better people.  But not nuns.  But pray for my dog.  What if there's a nun named Sister Christian?  Terrible song.  No offense, Night Ranger, but it sounds like the ass of a goat.    

Please send positive vibes, prayers, &C. etc. and what have you to my sweet Pup.  He's not really sweet; he doesn't like other people or dogs.  But he really likes me.  A lot.

Come on, hope my dog gets well soon, lest Freud judge the shit out of you.

If you pray for her dog, your penis will get bigger and your mother will worship you.