Eating the remainder of my lunch in the gym parking lot.

It was ham and cheese with brown mustard on whole wheat and it was delicious. I do not ever want to go into the gym, so this post is pure procrastination and I have nothing really to say. 🥪

Here’s some things I said today at work:

“Why can’t I be hot like a trophy wife but not be married?”

“I’ve done worse things in a church, trust me.”

“I wish there was some wine out here, or anything. I’d drink anything right now.”

“I don’t really like cock roaches, actually.” (To someone who erroneously thought I liked cock roaches).

And I’ve told at least three people today either that I’m not an asshole or I’m not crazy.

Now, to go into the gym and try to pass for human. Here’s a poem I wrote outside the gym once when I was in a foul mood:



To be human is to be ugly


A vile sack of flesh
awaiting another nasty being
to come along
and make it feel human again
The work it takes each day
to not congeal into a disgusting mass
and to pass as acceptable
to the masses, to what we've named
“society”
The most vulgar output of the meat
we are composed of is
feelings





And here is the best live recording of any song ever. If you disagree, I will throw acid in your face. 🤢 🧟‍♂️

Bitter Christmas: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Christmas is once again violating a perfectly good year.  Christmas is shoved down our throats as Christianity is the dominant religion in the United States.

Merry Christmas, assholes!  We have more money than you and bigger dicks, but enjoy us flaunting it while being stuck in traffic in your shitbox.  Life is good, for us, but fuck you and fuck the environment, too!  Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

It's also a very commercial holiday, so the only way to completely tune it out would be to avoid all radio, television, newspapers, and the internet as well.  As an atheist, I feel like Christmas is a drunk ex-boyfriend.  I used to like him okay, but we parted ways and now he's drunk and trying to feel me up no matter how hard I try to get away from him.  We cannot still be friends.

I feel like when I express my dislike for Christmas and the holiday season, I'm perceived as a Grinch.  I'd like to present some basic reasons why I and others might not want to embrace the season that seems to grab so many by their jingle balls.

Go ahead, boy!  Go get rabies and bite Christmas in its giant, terrible ass!
.  

If you want to see lights, stay home and shove a flashlight up your ass.

Christmas is primarily for kids: With the whole Santa Claus charade (which I enjoyed as a child myself and encourage this kept in tact for children as long as possible), Christmas is a family- and child-oriented holiday.  There are some of us who don't have children.  Many people choose not to have children.  There are some people who desperately wanted children, but cannot or did not get to have them.  For people who are rendered childless, not by choice, Christmas (the ads, the songs, the general sentiment of it all) is a very painful reminder that they are not like everyone else and that they will not share in this Santa tradition, or buy toys, or have that Christmas morning experience.  This can be a difficult time to deal with this personally, especially with people trying to shove this experience down your throat and somehow take it upon themselves make the non-Christmas person see the error of her ways.

Christmas is a religious holiday: While I did grow up Episcopalian, I've never believed in the whole Jesus story, nor do I believe in god.  This is my choice and I think everyone should make her own choice about religion.  However, again, it feels like I'm forced to participate in this season that is based around what I believe to be a story conjured up by ancient peoples.  I mean, enjoy the show, if it's what you believe.  But don't try to get non-believers to celebrate something they think is non-existent.

I got you a bunch of pills so you'd like Christmas.  Oh wait, you died?  

I certainly wish happiness for people.  I think spending time with family is nice as well as practicing the golden rule (I want to go to that museum).  I don't think people should be out spending money they probably do not have on useless material things that carry no real meaning and don't really matter much in the long run.  The idea of going to a mall or another crowded Christmas-themed venue is horrifying to me, and I try to avoid crowds like this at all costs.  For a good will to fellow man holiday, people sure feel stressed and drive like assholes, too.

I'm not a jerk, so I do wish people a happy holiday and all that shit, to be polite.  And if you are totally into Christmas and love it, please enjoy it.  But keep all that noise bottled up and do not force it upon us or try to convert those of us who dislike it, feel indifferent towards it, or just wish to opt out altogether.

Fucking joy to the world, bitches.

Shit straight into space.

The final nhà vệ sinh?

Can astronauts shit straight into space?  I guess I'm no scientist, but it's a really good question my friend posed to me.  There might be some sort of hatch and they can kind of just stick their bums out and go.  My friend and I also discussed how they might masturbate up there as well.  Mainly, I think we were concerned with the logistics of it and also the etiquette.  Is there a set corner for such activity?

May the Schwartz be with you!

Speaking of shit, I am working on this painting, which I am mainly doing only when stoned.  I hate it so much.  I find it ugly. 

There are some interesting shapes in this.  I suppose given the shapes, I'll call it 'Willie Nelson'sYou Were Always On My Mind'

I find myself spending nights trying to improve it, but hating it more.  

Halloween is always a fun time of year.  I ate a ridiculous amount of candy.  

People brought some leftovers into work.  It was visible from my desk.  Friends are paramount in life and I got a new one for Halloween.

Just when I think I have things figured out and a plan, it's like the world and people kind of shift.  And I'm back to square one, often wondering what the fuck just happened.  I'm glad I have my own mind.  I don't know what I'd do with someone else's.  

Also 'shit straight into space' is playing to Fade Into You in my head for some reason.  Please don't let my ramblings ruin yet another good song!  Strange you never knew.