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| Merry Christmas, assholes! We have more money than you and bigger dicks, but enjoy us flaunting it while being stuck in traffic in your shitbox. Life is good, for us, but fuck you and fuck the environment, too! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! |
It's also a very commercial holiday, so the only way to completely tune it out would be to avoid all radio, television, newspapers, and the internet as well. As an atheist, I feel like Christmas is a drunk ex-boyfriend. I used to like him okay, but we parted ways and now he's drunk and trying to feel me up no matter how hard I try to get away from him. We cannot still be friends.
I feel like when I express my dislike for Christmas and the holiday season, I'm perceived as a Grinch. I'd like to present some basic reasons why I and others might not want to embrace the season that seems to grab so many by their jingle balls.
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| Go ahead, boy! Go get rabies and bite Christmas in its giant, terrible ass! . |
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| If you want to see lights, stay home and shove a flashlight up your ass. |
Christmas is primarily for kids: With the whole Santa Claus charade (which I enjoyed as a child myself and encourage this kept in tact for children as long as possible), Christmas is a family- and child-oriented holiday. There are some of us who don't have children. Many people choose not to have children. There are some people who desperately wanted children, but cannot or did not get to have them. For people who are rendered childless, not by choice, Christmas (the ads, the songs, the general sentiment of it all) is a very painful reminder that they are not like everyone else and that they will not share in this Santa tradition, or buy toys, or have that Christmas morning experience. This can be a difficult time to deal with this personally, especially with people trying to shove this experience down your throat and somehow take it upon themselves make the non-Christmas person see the error of her ways.
Christmas is a religious holiday: While I did grow up Episcopalian, I've never believed in the whole Jesus story, nor do I believe in god. This is my choice and I think everyone should make her own choice about religion. However, again, it feels like I'm forced to participate in this season that is based around what I believe to be a story conjured up by ancient peoples. I mean, enjoy the show, if it's what you believe. But don't try to get non-believers to celebrate something they think is non-existent.
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| I got you a bunch of pills so you'd like Christmas. Oh wait, you died? |
I certainly wish happiness for people. I think spending time with family is nice as well as practicing the golden rule (I want to go to that museum). I don't think people should be out spending money they probably do not have on useless material things that carry no real meaning and don't really matter much in the long run. The idea of going to a mall or another crowded Christmas-themed venue is horrifying to me, and I try to avoid crowds like this at all costs. For a good will to fellow man holiday, people sure feel stressed and drive like assholes, too.
I'm not a jerk, so I do wish people a happy holiday and all that shit, to be polite. And if you are totally into Christmas and love it, please enjoy it. But keep all that noise bottled up and do not force it upon us or try to convert those of us who dislike it, feel indifferent towards it, or just wish to opt out altogether.
Fucking joy to the world, bitches.
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